Thursday, 13 November 2014

The 5 Rules of Going to a Gig

Thursday, 13 November 2014
So, I went to see Jamie T last week (blog post about that here!) but it led me to think about going to a gig in general, the complaints, what's bound to happen etc...

I thought I'd share five rules of going to a gig. This mostly relates to Scotland because we're pretty mental up here.

PS: This isn't going to apply to everyone, it's just a bit of fun, but I'm sure a few people can relate...



1. DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT BEING PUSHED



People want to get to the front.

The number one thing you need to expect if you're standing at a gig. This is the nature of a large crowd of people who are starting to get irritable. Expect this to get worse for more famous, aggressive bands like Arctic Monkeys.

If you're going to a festival, times the above by ten.

Unless you're going to see Cliff Richard... (I am not judging.)


2. COUPLE-CUDDLING IS A BIG NO




No one cares if the song is romantic. No one is jealous of you.

People just don't like to be stuck next to the couple at a gig who will stand and cuddle each other and possibly suck face during a high note.


3. YOU SHALL NOT BE BOTHERED ABOUT GETTING LIQUID POURED OVER YOU



I think I've had every liquidated substance under the sun thrown at or over me during a gig. Water, beer, blood, sweat, vomit and pee! 

Nobody is looking at you thinking you're worse for wear or could do with touching up your make-up, as it's likely everyone in the vicinity has suffered the same fate.


4. IF PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO MOVE IN FRONT OF YOU...

...it's because you're a lifeless eejit.



Maybe you're just not into dancing... that's ok!

Some people are convinced they are die-hard fans and deserve to be at the front more than everyone else and some are simply choosing to bypass you because you're not joining in with that mosh-pit going a few rows ahead.


5. POST-GIG DEPRESSION IS REAL AND IT'S COMING FOR YOU



No matter what gig it is, once it's over, life sucks. Everything sucks.

I swear that this is a real thing and if you love going to gigs, you've definitely experienced that empty, sucky feeling.



So, I said it might not be to everyone's tastes, but thanks for reading!

A couple more things to look out for include: the fact that chanting 'Here We Fucking Go' is law and losing your shoes is inevitable!

Leave a comment with one of your rules if I've missed anything out (I definitely have missed loads!)